In a World Where Loki is Fuglier than, say, Voldemort

Last night I could no longer keep this to myself.

I told my brother this, “I think the WHOLE reason why people like Loki is because he is super good looking, like he is played by Tom Hiddleston.”

Imagine Loki being deformed or something. I wonder if people will still like him. Frankly, even if we were to go with the idea that well, some people had it hard, they couldn’t figure out things and in the end made bad choices, so, deep down they are just misunderstood, why is it that NO ONE is rushing forward to sympathise with Voldemort?

I mean, he is so traumatised and hurt and everything too.

I remember disliking Loki the moment he first appeared on screen.

One of them is utterly evil and it was SO easy to tell.

And when Loki told earthlings to “KNEEL!!!” my first thought was really, someone beat this orbiang “god” up please. Like which GOD needs to ask humans to kneel before him?

So glad that Captain America came whacking him. ❀

Ohhhh and not forgetting Hulk smashed him around. ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

Then finally one day in 2014, EVERYONE AROUND ME STARTED GOING CRAZY OVER LOKI OR TOM HIDDLESTON.

I remember my male colleague telling me to watch this like a super fanboy.

And all the time I was like, hey, hey, hey… how can people see Loki when there is Thor. Like seriously what is the appeal in a weak and emotionally unstable person? Who is also totally nasty.

The first time I felt anything positive towards Loki was when Thor did this.

Somehow that was the start of whenever Thor did something minorly bad, I get why Loki got slightly twisted with it.

And before I knew it…

I lost my life meaning and also died when Loki died in Infinity War. I mean this metaphorically though.

But despite so, I still can’t find anything Loki did justifiable.

AND THEN.

Came the trigger point.

After hearing Tom said again and again and AGAIN that Loki is just misunderstood and someone who made a lot of bad choices, I just thought, how about Loki is just an asshole.

Like ok, I get that it sucks to “lose” to a fat brother, but Loki was planning to kill and all those. He isn’t too far off from Voldemort or any other villain we hate by heart.

My conclusion is, Loki is so loved all because he is so beautiful. And Tom thinks the way he thinks coz he has a heart so big the Universe is pale in comparison.

Just look at this face! But the other Loki still looks evil.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (9640561va) Tom Hiddleston ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ film premiere, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA – 23 Apr 2018
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Life in July: I am N1 Readyyyy!!!! And Psychic Readings

So! I finished my N1 Preparatory Class and soon I will move into Further Advance. Which mean it will all marks an official end to my Japanese learning very soon.

And weird enough, I feel like all my love for Japan just dropped.

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I am not even kidding.

However, it is not in the sad way that I had thought it to be. It was a case of all my old love mixed with my personal junk was just gone. And I am in this total new vibe.

Things like I used to want to stay by myself in a lovely house in the suburbs, now I am like, well, ok that if I do that, but more importantly, it is OK that I chose again a new reality. O_o Just what happened to Kawaii Xingible Desu Ka??? ❀

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Class was held in the library section of the school last night. Wahahaa!! Talk about distraction, Renji, Ikkaku, Sanji, Zoro and every dOkI DoKi was just there. *blush*

Next, a few of my awesome course mates at the UAL had their Intuition course done and as a practice, they did psychic readings for me. Wow, guess what, pretty much I have it all, I just need to move into it.

Easiest thing but also the hardest coz I would have done so if I knew.

SO many cool things happening around.

My Current Life is Like Fat Thor, Minus the Super Powers – An Update on Xingible’s Life

Ok, I didn’t come up with witty first part of tonight’s blog title.

I read it off a Tweet and it is just so magical.

IMAGINE BEING (FAT) THOR. But minus the super powers. xD LMAO!!!

And omg look at this.

In a really weird way, I feel like my life is still stuck on that day when I watched Avengers: Endgame. Yet, it is also where everything took off.

So many things happened and even if someone is willing to listen, I don’t know where to start. But worry not, everything is in a positive direction. I mean, since the past didnt served me too well, anything in the opposite direction is probably good, very good. Looking at things now, I am actually grateful that I never had a career, a mate and all those. Bcoz I won’t know how to deal with them now, now that I am finally more aware of myself.

I know, what am I talking about right?

First up, finally the too-long curtains were solved. Apparently there was no curtain altering services in my densely populated residential area and in desperateness Mum and I went to the tailor she used to frequent.

And dear Aunty took our curtains and she did such an amazing job! My, I was just beaming at them when I got my shorten curtains back. I know this might sound weird, since these are all straight cuts and sews. But it is just sO #sparkjoy ! Care were taken to have thicker hems for thicker curtains so everything will drape down properly.

Re-visiting all these places I been to as a child was so overwhelming there was a couple of night where I couldn’t sleep.

Growing up I was just trapped in this idea that I am so unlovable the only humane thing for me is to disappear. It took me till 32 to realise this this totally not true.

I think I am fine but am I really fine? To have this major life change all of a sudden.

Tea with Mummy after we brought curtains up to new place. When I was young I would fill the saucer with these mini soup spoons.

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Recently I have been reconnecting with my Mum and brother in a very close way. I was telling Mum to hug me, and all those really kiddish stuff. It was so weird but I finally said it.

Not trying to make anyone the villain here but sometimes, just this one person can be the one screwing everyone up. I finally acknowledged that my Dad never was a Dad to me (us) and here I am getting my Mum and sibling back.

And the healing and love that I was always waiting actually is in my own hands all these while.

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Then all the self-love came in.

This is my Japanese homework and I had Tom Hiddleston and Harry Potter in Question 2 and 3. I was just so happy to be myself liking what I like.

I never looked at it this way, but for so long I was trying to be my Dad’s daughter, finally now I remember that I am first an individual human but I took my role so seriously I thought I was the character.

Meanwhile I also finally tried this cream-fruit sandwich. I actually didn’t get to try it in Japan. It was good!

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I call my Gimbap a Rice Roll. I failed you people!! xD

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Last Wednesday I waited quite the whole day at my new place for electronic deliveries and the whole thing just got me into another dimension. It is like I meditate my way into a higher new self. And the old me is now forever gone.

Since then I have been waking up early and going back there everyday. Cleaning up and all. And each second I seemed to regain back pieces of myself I lost.

I know, so weird, but it was all great.

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Giving my chair socks and glass table is the rad!

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Got myself gloves but I keep on forgetting them. I also hand wipe the floor of my whole apartment. Coz that was one way to really make sure that the renovation fine dust really get cleaned up.

It was good until… I think I need to do this for a 2nd round.

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I removed the plastic wrappings on our beds and the amount of plastic was just insanely a lot. They looked very little when wrapping the mattress, but when removed, it was an entire HILL of them.

I managed to chuck them down the bins and I bruised my arms.

The other weird thing is, why are the laundry poles SO HIGH?!

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Mos Burger delivers to my new place and after eating them the whole time, I am really Fat-Thor-ish.

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I thought I was really smart to put my plastic bag like this as a makeshift bin.

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New daily view.

I am not sure if this is part of spirituality. I am so much more aware of my hair these days. They are growing so rapidly and they are also dropping so much all over the place. I actually feel more Zen with having to deal with my hair than when I was having them really short and essentially no need to care for them.

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Chordless vacuum is really the bomb.

I am still a kid born in the late 80s but there are just SO MANY new inventions these days. Yes, I can soon teleport.

Now a series of really happy things.

I found back this cardigan that my Mum made. I only wore it once or twice in Kindergarten when it got too small. I don’t know why, it could be that I was a super old soul and that made me sO damn 悔しい!(Regrettable)

Mum told me she threw it away and I was the happiest when I found it again.

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And the weird thing continued.

I have said many times that I really missed my Summer School from 9 years ago but it is also something that I don’t want and can’t go back. I long forgotten about this jacket and suddenly I thought of it the night before I found it packed with my family’s jackets.

I had cleared out the cupboard so many times but I just missed this.

I was so happy to see it again. I had it by my bed every night when I was in Seoul.

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And I found this patch work blanket that my Grandma made! Mum also told me that she threw it away. I think she was trying to get me to use the bigger new blanket.

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I remember always asking my Mum what is this. She told me it is from a flour bag and I thought she was humouring me, coz who puts flour in a cotton bag. Turned out it really is. And look! The weight was still in POUNDS!

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That day I had this huge realisation, upon seeing that my room curtain looks like a stage curtain. I can just stop living in my father’s lies about how I should be.

I can and I am stopping this act.

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Been bring over as many as things I could each time. Boxes from Chu’s present. I am so glad to have met her. I think I am OK-ish now, but this lady was my friend since 2013. How did this woman, Mother, Wife and adoptive Mom to 3 cats and 1 dog have so much Kokoro for me?

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Took the liberty to fill bit of my TV console with MY books.

Ok, I am finally sleepy.

And I can say it has been a while but I truly feel happy enough tonight.

Good night everyone!

Everything Is in Perfection; Update on My Japanese Classes and New Muses

Half of 2019 passed (ok, is passing, since it is not yet July). How is everyone doing? I hope you all have all the great things going on for you. If not there is still a large half of 2019 yet to be created.

For me, I am still lost as ever but leaps and bounds better then when I first started Project Oh~! My Fried Chicken. And probably I am receiving enlightenment soon. Who knows? *winks*

The one vibe I am wearing now is perhaps, I need NOT be so miserable over SO MANY things. Maybe my current perception only allows me to see certain sides of things. And whatever sides I am seeing is not the best for me yet.

Yeah, many years had passed but I remember this group mate. Apparently he is resourceful enough to get a copy of a senior’s marked and passed report. Now, it simply means that his (or ours) report is a sure pass, sure score. But for some reason he had to keep his treasure under wraps and find it totally amusing to debate with me over stuff and then call up another guy to cry about it whenever I “win”.

For a long while I kept thinking that I am so bad, I can’t make friends and UGH! Just so much shame about the whole thing.

Only now I realise, he is probably so unsure of himself and I was the only source of validation he was getting. Also, I begin to realise that, no one really enjoys finding fault with someone they DON’T like, if a person kept getting him/herself involve with another, they are simply seeking something from said person. I mean yeah, the whole thing can be creepy and toxic, but yup, you can say my group mate actually liked me a lot to have kept doing what he did.

Meanwhile, I think the Earth might have shifted some nano centimetres or something, this is the view outside classroom these days. LIKE OH MY KOKORO.

And yes, I need to go into that my teacher is totally elegant. She was just appreciating this fading view and she had this really appreciative look. I mean, I haven’t seen anyone like that often. Usually people snap a pic and stare back into their phones.

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Having 2 classes per week somehow messed with my feeling of time. I would feel that 2 weeks passed when everything happened within 7 days. And come my regular class on Sunday?!

I used to get really melancholy when my class terms end. But eventually I get that things just end. I still remember how in my first ever class, there was never a final dinner among everyone. But things are just they are, I assigned them my feelings. To another person, it is quite the best thing to never have to get involved with other people.

Sometimes endings are also in preparation of something better, like I finished my studies and finally I get to work in the entertainment world in Japan. Stuff like that.

Finally about my Project Earl Grey Tee Hee Hee~~~ I still do not like Earl Grey Tea. They are really the Nattos of Teas. But~~~~ each day I am finding Tom Hiddleston so freaking amazing. Like, how is it that a human can be so composed and everything lovely.

Frankly I really went from “Marry me Tom!” to May The Upmost High bless this soul (Tom) forever. The world totally needs more kind people like Tom. And may he be sooooooo filled with joy and love and happiness!!!

I can end my project now for I got connected with an Angel.

xD

Okok, I think I am only getting the essence of it now. A few years back I came across this quote on, one way to expand oneself is to go meet and talk with people of a different culture, of a different age group and all those.

I still remember vividly that it was those moment where I know something profound struck me but somehow I am not receiving it in. I thought I was doing A LOT by traveling around solo. Well, it was a really biG thing for me back then and I would do it all again if I get back in time.

I still haven’t made much friends this one year, but thanks to technology, I seem to be getting the energy of it.

Tom Hiddleston’s Centrum Ad, With Salad

I made the wrong move of reading this particular blog post on Tom Hiddleston’s new advertisement and the following points spoiled everything. xD

So, apparently the writer was left all confused…

  • Is Tom visiting a secret lover?
  • Is he a caretaker to a stay-home patient??
  • And who ends work early in the morning only to rush off again??? For a few weeks????

I tried to watch this ad a few more times without the influences and I guess the best thing was Tom speaking in Chinese. SO CUTE!

Followed by this parody.

I died at “ζ²‘ζœ‰ζ›΄ε€šηš„θ―η‰‡ Tom!!” (Translate into “There are no more pills, Tom!!”)

It don’t make much sense in Chinese so I assume it is a direct translation of “NO MORE PILLS TOM!!” instead.

Many call the ad creepy but what actually got me all uncomfortable was the salad.

THE DAMN SALAD.

I eat veggies, I eat fruits and I eat eggs.

But it is just so crazy to have that psychedelic salad for the first meal of the day.

Personally, the horror continued when Tom put black pepper on the egg. I can almost hear the black pepper pieces screaming out to not fall away from the egg.

Like dear Kami Sama, what is really going on??! Someone tasukete~~~

Then I remember this one time.

Friend and me were hungry and we entered Carl’s Jr. She got salad without dressing and me cheese fries with double cheese and chili beef. :3 I forgot why my friend got salad, I am sure she wasn’t dieting or anything and she hated what she was eating.

Next, she told me this.

One time she was really hungry and so her ex-boyfriend and her went into a fast food restaurant.

The guy offered to buy food and he came back with fish & chips for himself (what kind of demon is that!!!) and SALAD for my friend. Probably implying that my friend is fat.

NANI KORE. NANI KORE!!!

Not wanting to make the guy feel bad and wanting to prove herself, my friend ate up the leaves.

I was a brash kid back then. I think I said something like I would stab whoever gave me salad (implying that I am fat).

Looking back, it is so darn nice to have friends to be silly with.

“My Boyfriend is ENGLISH.”

Recently I recalled this incident in Uni (2012) and till this day it remains one of the best funny thing that received little laughs. I hope you get it as much as I do!

During one term we got a Russian group mate.

Actually said group mate was not really Russian, but from one of the countries of the former Soviet Union. The interesting was, she would at many times refer herself as Russian, until she has this rapport with our law lecturer.

I forgot her name and only remembered that she looked very Asian, just like us Singaporean Chinese. She did have an accent which I don’t recognise and for sure she is sassy. She was often in thin, loose clothing to go with the local blazing humid weather and everyone would go red with giggle for she had no bra on. The only people who don’t find it outrageous is herself and people who were too shy to have another look.

And like how the saying of Asians from 17 to 50 look the same, I never got the age of my group mate but guessed that she could be in her mid 30s. And I was 25 then, my other group mates were 19 and 20.

I thought it would be really cool to have an older foreign lady with us.

Frankly, with all my heart, if I get to hang around this mate as a regular classmate, I would probably say BLESS MY KOKORO for her gorgeous soul. But she is totally those folks who escalate into unpleasant exchanges once we have to dish out our thoughts and see how we can fit it all into a unanimously report.

Finally near the day we were to hand in our report, she one day walked into class late and started rudely tapping our desk wanting to see the report that she had little to no contribution. She however went on to deliver a really cool presentation so we can’t say much.

Maybe it was that we had this unsaid competition to see who can pretend to be the nicest girl for the longest or that we were really unsure how to react, the whole time our group mate went off, we all were just seeping in heavy passive aggressiveness.

I remember that after each law class I would have my favourite Japanese class. So I was just determined that no matter what happen, I just won’t allow my mood to be spoiled.

So, I was just in this unnatural pocket of calmness.

Until…

“MY BOYFRIEND IS ENGLISH AND I HAD SHOWN HIM AND HIS FAMILY THIS [our report] AND THEY SAID EVERYTHING IS SO BADLY WRITTEN!!!“11111”

Now, that is offending, kinda sensitive. And also, I really don’t care about what her boyfriend thinks. It is MY project and it is still in draft form.

BUT THEN…

The floodgates opened…

“My boyfriend is English.”

“My boyfriend is English.”

“My boyfriend is English.”

Her boyfriend is E-N-G-L-I-S-H.

I begun filtering out everything my group mate was yakking and the part about her boyfriend being English just kept repeating itself.

Somebody help.

Should I be utterly honoured that the best of the British intelligence vetted MY report??

Soon after everything died down I sent the Johnny English movie poster to my friends in the group chat. I think only one kinda got me while others continued basking in the residual thick passive aggressiveness.

The final outcome was the weirdest. The youngest 19 year old probably found everything so humiliating (read “humiliating” in Loki’s accent and voice) she directed all her anger on the other girl and me. She had baked us cookies on the presentation day (aka the last day of the whole group work) but in the end she was just got decidedly bitter towards us.

Frankly I was really broken and hurt, so do my other mate. But I learned that, sometimes such things just happens. The only kind and sane thing I can do is to just allow it to be, accept that everyone has their own way of living out their lives.

For my bra-less group mate, if I can go back in time again, like maybe I be tasked to find some gem stones, I would so treasure one more moment with her. Yeah, I surprised myself for saying this. But one thing with growing up is, I just get to open my perspective and all those.

The last contact I got was her asking if our classroom will be at 305, I mistyped and replied yeah it is 355 or something. She actually sent another SMS that isn’t it 305 since she *checked* it.

Why she asked remained no mystery.

Sometimes nice people make some silly little mistakes. Like, who is more cruel? Someone stressed over a project or the person who planned out diverting her anger on people on the same side just bcoz she is still sore, and had to add in some sadistic cookies.

Woolalalala~~ this changed into a whole self love thing. During my younger days I always thought that I am totally unlikable. But right now, I am very proud that I was really that person that people find peace with.

I love myself. ❀

Btw I really love the Johnny English series. ❀

Earl Grey Tea; How it is Made and All About it

For a long while, I thought that the distinct taste to Earl Grey came from the tea leaves itself.

Until today. I saw that there are Earl Grey Milk Tea in the school’s vending machine and I got one.

And Earl Grey is actually BLACK TEA!!!!! with bergamot oil added!!!

Now I know why I kinda reject it on a cellular level. I don’t really go well with essential oils. I am the only abnormal person around. Will you still love me??

The coolest thing of today’s research is, the Chinese name for Earl Grey Tea is totally rad!! ζ Όι›·δΌ―ηˆ΅θŒΆγ€‚

And, I don’t think it is true that Tom Hiddleston’s favourite drink is really Earl Grey Tea with a splash of milk anyway. Different things are written on different interviews.